The Great Plan...which doesn't work.
by Nimiza
Summary: Well, this is my first Tenchi fic. Be warned, its Tenchi + Ayeka. Dedicated to SarahMc
1. No need for plans

This is my first Tenchi ficcy so if the characters are all OOC sorry

This is my first Tenchi ficcy so if the characters are all OOC sorry. Be warned it is Tenchi + Ayeka. It takes a few twists but will be a Tenchi + Ayeka. It is dedicated to SarahMc who is one of the best T+A fic writers. (Probably the best!)

"Why you prissy little princess. You're gonna get it for that!" 

"Just try it. All you are is a monster. Nobody, let alone Tenchi, could love you!"

"Sigh," this was the only thing Tenchi ever woke up to. Ryoko and Ayeka arguing. "Don't they ever take a day off or something? Sheesh. If I had a buck for every time they argue…." He was cut short.

"Shut up! Fat chance Tenchi could ever like you. All you are is a stuck up snob who is just a spoilt little brat. You don't even need Tenchi. You have everything so go crawl into a hole and die!" guess who yelled. (For those of you who don't know it was Ryoko.)

"I had better go out there before it gets nasty. It isn't exactly cheap patching up holes in the wall." Tenchi slid into a sitting down position on his bed and yawned while stretching his arms. Then he got up and walked out the door. No sooner had he taken one step out of the door when Ryoko jumped up and latched onto his arms. 

"Tenchi, tell stoopid Ayeka that yoo wuv me. Kay?" Ryoko said in a baby voice.

"Ryoko! Get off Lord Tenchi at once. He does not love a worthless space monster like you!" Ayeka yelled at the top of her voice.

"Well if he doesn't love me then how come he hasn't pushed me off him then?" Ryoko shouted back while Tenchi was furiously trying **_VERY _**hard to push Ryoko off him. Ayeka just sweat drops and falls over. 

_She may be a girl but she's damn strong_. Tenchi thought. "Ryoko! Get off me!" Tenchi wheezed while squirming for freedom. She was glomping him so hard he could barely breath. 

"BREAKFAST IS READY!" Sasami shouted from the kitchen.

"I'm saved," Tenchi runs down stairs and into the kitchen. Closely followed by Ryoko and Ayeka who were still looking at each other warily and angrily.

So breakfast began. As usual it wasn't really a meal, just a bunch of starved people scoffing down as much food as possible. Breakfast was pretty uneventful. Only Ryoko and Ayeka arguing over who got the last piece of bread, Mihoshi begging Kiyone if they could take the day of work so she could watch the last ever episode of 'Space Police Policeman' and Washu telling an uninterested Sasami about her newest invention, The Anti-Dis Combobulator 93047.497295

NARRATOR: So as usual at the end of breakfast Noboyuki went to work, Kashuito went back to the shrine, Tenchi went to work in the fields, Kiyone and a crying Mihoshi went on patrol, Ayeka and Sasami went to do their chores, Washu( 'HEY! Its Little Washu' 'oh sorry') Little Washu went to test her new invention and Ryoko…hey! Where is Ryoko? 

ME: Hold on. I never hired a narrator. What are you doing here?

NARRATOR: Who cares? I'm here anyway (Leans on a table but knocks a vase off it which smashes on the floor)

ME: That's coming out of your pay you know!

NARRATOR: You're not paying me anyway!

ME: Exactly my point. Anyway, bye! (Presses a button and there's an explosion sending the narrator flying off into the distance. Ping!) On with the show.

Where was I? Oh yeah. Hey! Where is Ryoko? 

"Hey Ayeka. I've got a plan," Ryoko whispers. 

"Oh really. Well then, tell me your "plan" Miss Ryoko," Ayeka says back with a slight tone of curiosity in her voice. Ryoko leans over to Ayeka's ear. 

" _Inaudible whispers." _

"My my Ryoko, that's a great plan. You aren't as dumb as you look."

"Thanks, I think. Well anyway, spread it around kay. We'll finally know…" She was cut short by Ayeka slapping her in the back of the head.

"Ryoko! You'll give the game away!"

"To who?"

"I dunno. But you shouldn't say it anyway, who knows if we're being watched?" Ayeka stated. 

NARRATOR: And so Ryoko and Ayeka spread the plan around. Soon the whole Masaki household knew the plan, all except for Tenchi who was busily working in the field not knowing a thing about what he had in store for him when he got back. Who knows what the girls had in store for him. All will be revealed next…

ME: Hey! I thought I got rid of you!

NARRATOR: Well I'm back anyway. 

ME: That's it. SECURITY! (Several large men walk on and drag the narrator off.

NARRATOR: Hey! You can't do this to me! I want my lawyeeeeeerrr……

ME: I can't believe he was trying to end it there! Anyway I better get on with the story.

So Tenchi nonchalantly walked home. Half-expecting to hear the sounds of Ryoko and Ayeka arguing, when he didn't he was extremely relieved, yet slightly curious as to why the two hadn't found something to try and kill each other about... yet. So he opened the door and saw…

Sorry. I have to end it here because I need reviews and feedback to tell me whether this was good? Bad? Ugly? Please review. Anyway, if I don't get 3 reviews. No more chapters. 


	2. No need for a crap half-baked chapter do...

Hey, its me

Hey, its me. Im back! Anyhow your probably dieing for the next chapter. So here it is! 

He saw nothing. No-one was there. Well….he SAW nothing. He did however hear what sounded like spaceships blasting off. 

"What the?" Tenchi yells, running towards the back door where he finds Washu, Kiyone, Mihoshi and Sasami all watching the two ships blast off as if it were a nice NASA journey and everything would be okay. Yeah, right.

"Washu, where's Ryoko and Ayeka? Why are Yagami and Ryo-Okhi blasting off? Why is everybody just standing here doing nothing?!?" Tenchi broke into a yell near the end.

"Oh, hi Tenchi, and please, call me Little Washu!" Washu said while her two Washu-Bots jumped out from behind her and start praising her. Everybody falls over sweat-dropping.

"Ryoko has gone of in Ryo-Okhi and Ayeka has gone off in Yagami, let you're heart decide who to follow, and all will be clear," Sasami says while breaking off into the dream-world of her romance novels. 

"Ummmmm. I'm still not quite clear on what's going on," Tenchi says with a hint of annoyance in his voice. 

"Well, they've both gone off into space and you've got to follow one of them. Whoever you care for the most presumably," Washu explains. 

"In that case I better get moving quickly!"

"Right. We'll get Yokinojo ready.

NARRATOR: Meanwhile in space Ryoko is having a non-abusive (Gasp! Shock! Horror!) conversation with Ayeka.

ME: Not you again! Please! I don't have time for this, it's 11:00 and I want to finish this chapter and go to sleep so if you think that you're gonna delay me again, you're wrong!

NARRATOR: (Raises an eyebrow in suspicion when he realises some large guards are walking up to him from behind.)

ME: Bye! (Watches as two large guards beat the crap out of the narrator) Lets get this chapter finished (Yawns!)

Anyway, here's the non-abusive (Gasp! Shock! Horror!) conversation between Ryoko and Ayeka. 

"So Ayeka, got the plan?" said down the intercom

"Yes. Knowing Tenchi he'll come look for both of us. But the heart always prevails so whoever he looks for first is the one he cares about more, and loves. The person who loses must tell Tenchi she does not love him anymore so he'll be forced to go out with the other," Ayeka confirmed.

"Good then, lets get this show on the road!" Ryoko yells, then cuts off the intercom off. "Hehehehe. Of course if I don't keep moving then he'll have to come for me first because I'll be on the way to Ayeka. But she won't know because I'll send a dummy into the position I'm meant to be in and cloak the real ship," Ryoko schemes. 

Did anybody catch any of that. I'm sorry if its crappy and short it's just really late at night and I've decided to go to sleep. As soon as I can be assed I'll come back and re-do this chapter and make it longer, but for now you'll have to settle for this. Kay? Good. Bye. 


	3. No need for a short interlude(part 1)

Due to not getting a chapter up in time I have decided to do a short interlude

Due to not getting a chapter up in time I have decided to do a short interlude.

NARRATOR: For our first part of the evening/day/morning/night (you choose) we will be having a few fights. First up, Tenchi versus a horse. ****

** **

JAMES BOND: Well we have a fine match up here, Tenchi versus a horse. For those of you who haven't caught on I am the commentator along with… Miss Anne Robinson from the weakest link.

ANNE: I must say you are the most pathetic loser at introductions. Watch how it's done. AHEM. You're watching no need for a short interlude and we are your commentators. First up, Tenchi versus a horse. And for anyone one not reading, you are the weakest link, goodbye.

JAMES: Ummm…. You're not meant to say goodbye we just started.

ANNE: Enough chit-chat, on with the show. 

** **

DINGDING 

Tenchi steps in the ring with the horse, which has been herded in by a trained shepherd. 

ANNE: Remember kids, don't try this at home, we are trained professionals and we know what we're doing. 

JAMES: (whispers) well basically we just put Tenchi in the ring with a horse.

Tenchi then casually walks up to the horse without even taking out his sword. "hey little fella, how ya doing?" The horse suddenly turns his back to Tenchi and hits him with his hind legs…hard.

"AAAAARRRGGGHHHH MY RIBS!!!!" Tenchi yells then falls over clutching his chest.

JAMES: Oooh, big mistake there by the Mr.T there, the tench-man should have used his super sword to kill the excuse for a bull instead of letting it hurt him, never underestimate a farm animal my friends. If I was him I would have whipped out my PP7 and shot the big brown dog in the head.

ANNE: What's with all the nicknames? Anyway Tenchi was quite stupid to underestimate that fine horse. He's almost dead now.

The horse walks up to Tenchi's form on the floor and stands over him. The referee then jumps to the floor. 

" ONE, TWO, THREE!!! The Winner, a horse!"

JAMES: WHAT AN UPSET! Tenchi was winning and had the horse on all-fours but the horse delivered that unsuspected kick to the ribs, his trademark move!

ANNE: That's it! I'm not working with this idiot anymore. (slams her hands down on the table, gets up and leaves)

JAMES: Well there you have it, the first fight!

Ummmm, I'll be dong some more on this topic for the next few chapters because I frankly can't be bothered to do some more for a while. C-ya then. 


	4. No need for Rodi

Well, my last review has inspired me to write a very short yet important notice concerning a certain Rodi

Well, my last review has inspired me to write a very short yet important notice concerning a certain Rodi. Yes that's right, its u rodi, the most annoying author(or friend) and one could know. Yes, as soon as u become his friend and tell him your fanfiction name he puts you on author alert and writes you obscene and extremely embarrassing/annoying/rude/loser-like/gay-wad-like remarks. So beware anyone who wants to try and be his friend, he will try to ruin your life. I am therefore disallowing him from ever reviewing my stories unless it is signed. I will otherwise beat him up/give him a taste of his own medicine till he cannot stand it anymore. Thank you for your patience.

P.S. anyone is allowed to insult/flame/write weird things about his stories in his reviews.


	5. No need for a short interlude(part 2)

Hi. Yes that's right! IIIIIIMMMMMM BAAAAAAACK!!! Sorry, long story short I disappeared. Im sorry to keep you guys(and gals) waiting and thank you to any1 who ever gave me a good review. I've been inspired by u guys to continue writing!

Ps. I still think rodi is a twat, even though im stuck in his class for the rest of the school year.

Disclaimer: I don't own Tenchi nad all series to do with him or characters so SUE ME!!(not really)

Psagain. Sorry, but im still gonna write a few short interludes to keep you happy. You'll have to wate for the newt proper chapter.

CHARIZARD: ROAAAAAARRRRR RAAAHHHAAA(shoots fire into the air)

CHRIS: Hi I'm chris tarrant and this is Hotsuma vs a  big brown armoured bear! I'm you're presenter and here is my co-presenter charizard!

The crowd cheers 

CHARIZARD:RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAA

CHRIS: is that your final answer.

_ Charizard leaps up into the air and burns chris tarrant to a crisp, then flies of._

ME: umm, we need some new presenters. (light bulb appears above my head) how about you two!

HARRY POOTER: me? Really! I've never done presenting. But I guess I'll give it a shot. And just a point, you spelt my name wrong.

GANDALF: Shutup pooter, we'll do it.

POOTER: ok, but please stop calling me that.

GANDALF: Whiny brat, shutup.

POOTER: Oh look, it's the frikkin wizard of frikkin oz!

GANDALF: I'm warning you, be quiet or you'll be sorry.

POOTER: OOOH. Look at me, I'm scared! Wat you gonna do, be you're gay tin man on me? Or maybe I should follow the yellow brick road!

THE WIZARD OF OZ: Right, get him boys.

The tin man, a scarecrow and a little girl all jump on pooter and start beating him up 

POOTER: Abra kadabra, shit its not working. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! 

_Pooter is left in a bloody mess and taken of to hospital._

GANDALF: hey, good work, you should be the co-presenter!

THE WIZARD OF OZ: really, thanks.

NARRATOR: and they lived happily ever after.

ME: You again, if u don't fuck off im gonna kick you so hard there it will point inwards!!

NARRATOR: aaaaahhhhh(runs off screaming).

DING! DING!

Hotsuma and the bear circle the ring eyeing each other up and down.

HOTSUMA: Im gonna kick you're furry little ass you **********

IOREK BYRNISON: OH. Im scared. The guy with a manic leg disease is threatening me.

HOTSUMA: WHAT ARE YOU SAYIN ABOUT MY LEGS METAL HEAD?

IOREK: I suppose you've never seen you're self in a mirror, Those legs are about two inches.

GANDALF: ooh, the typical trash talk comin from both of them, this is really heatin up. 

WIZARD OF OZ: hey, that sounded professional, nice one.

GANDALF: Thanks, you're pretty good you're self.

WIZARD OF OZ: really, I try!

Everyone sweatdrops and falls to the floor 

Iorek pulls out a knife.

IOREK: Will showed me this one

_He slashes the knife downwards into the air at hotsuma, then back up._

HOTSUMA: hahahah, you missed!

_Hotsuma's arm falls off. then iorek magically disappears._

HOTSUMA: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH… hey, where'd you go?

_A knife comes from the air behind hotsuma killing him._

WIZARD OF OZ: oooh, nice move used by iorek, the old "cut a hole into another dimension then reappear behind the enemy" trick.

GANDALF: That was good. Hey, get a load of this. YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!

Gandalf dramatically lifts his staff into the air and smashes it through the commentator's table in a blaze of anger. However the staff then hits the concrete floor and snaps in half. 

GANDALF: my staff (runs off whimpering)

Hi, what do you think, give me feedback. For now, farewell.


End file.
